March 29, 2020
OMG! I TOUCHED MY FACE – AGAIN!!! Can I go out for a drive? Can I go for a walk? Can I go to the grocery store?? Do I have it but don’t know it?
STAY HOME!
Whew!!! It’s exhausting being on high alert all the time! Yes, this is very bad. It’s a very bad time we’re going through. And it’s very frightening.
It’s easy with the mounting numbers of people who “have it” and the mounting death toll from COVID-19 and all the self-isolation and washing of food containers from the grocery store and dire warnings about everything to do out of fear or to ignore (for a part of the population, anyway) regarding the seriousness of the pandemic. We’re getting confusing and sometimes conflicting messages about what does or doesn’t kill something that we can’t see and don’t quite believe exists (at least in our immediate world). And all the messages about “flattening the curve” to spread out the severe cases so that our health care systems don’t get overwhelmed.
Wash your hands, wash them again even though you haven’t been anywhere, and please, do your job to save the world: WASH YOUR HANDS!!!
Then I notice a voice in the wilderness of social media and breaking news – 99% of us will survive, even if we catch the virus. What?? Is that hope I’m hearing??
What would Mister Rogers say? We can only imagine, but I’m guessing it would be encouraging and filled with hope. As in, do what you need to stay safe and protect your community. And think about the future. That takes hope, my friend.
I’ve written about the 1% effect regarding small, compound effects; now let’s consider the 99% effect. You’re probably going to live!! What do you want your life to look like when THAT happens? Oops – caught myself hoping again…
How do you maintain hope at a time like this?
Every time you wash your hands, you are acting with hope. This is a good time to do a little self-compassion by repeating phrases such as: “may you be safe; may you be happy; may you be healthy; may you live with ease”. (From Sharon Salzberg’s website: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/covid-19-resources/). Time yourself until you know how many times it takes to get to 20-30 seconds. Direct these compassionate thoughts to yourself first (remember to put your own oxygen mask on first…”), then to another individual. (You’re welcome) For me, one round for myself and one round for my selected recipient took 23 seconds. You can change the phrases, if you can’t remember these at the moment you’re washing your hands – just remember all phrases are for self compassion. Hey, better than singing the “Happy Birthday” song for the 30th time in a day…
Every time you DON’T go out the door, you’re acting with hope. Yes, flatten the curve, I know what they say, that it’s for the benefit of the community, the medical staff, the hospitals and for you. Right now, it feels like an act of fear. But every action to flatten the curve is an act of hope. The very thought means there’s a future for you, too.
Every time you wipe off your faucets, door knobs, handles (remember the cabinet and drawer handles), light switches (yes, please), computer keyboard and mouse, and counters (the list goes on…), you are acting with hope. And a dose of skepticism, if I know my audience. But do it anyway. I exercise in my condo stairwells and hallways; I use the elevator sometimes, too. I carry a wipe with me to wipe down before I touch, and sometimes I remember to do extra for my neighbors. We’re in this together. I mean, I hope my neighbors don’t have the virus, but that’s not the kind of hope we’re talking about now.
Exercise your hope muscle and your other muscles, too! You’re sending a message of hope to yourself. It means you are holding in your consciousness (sorry) that you will live through this and want to be healthy on the other side. There are many exercise programs on the internet, some are even free, and on TV, too. I buy audio books through Audible and listen only when I’m exercising – keeps me at it longer. Speaking of books and hope…
Start a big, thick book. Now that’s an act of hope!!! It took me years to finish “A Suitable Boy”, reading a few pages a night before sleeping. What an amazing book! I never would have started it if I thought I wasn’t going to survive. And there are a lot more books out there. Now we have great technology, too, for reading electronically in case you can’t get out there to buy a book (and the libraries are closed). You can also pick books that are funny or hopeful. Probably a good choice.
Eat healthy! Sure, there’s a time to cheat once in a while, but try to put off making the brownies and cookies until the weekend and maybe, as an act of kindness – to yourself – give some of them away to a neighbor. Just let them know when the goodies will be sitting outside their door. Maybe you can use some of those yogurt containers you’ve been saving (I see you…) as the gift box to put them in. The rest of the time, consider eating really tasty meals that are made with healthy ingredients. If you have healthy ingredients in your cupboard and fridge, you’ll be more likely to make good, healthy meals. This is an act of hope.
The meditation community is all over this hope thing. And they’re getting us there by getting us past the fear and anxiety, because you’re most likely going to be around. Check out Dan Harris and his 10% Happier daily YouTube talks (from his own living room). I promise you won’t die from the 5-minute meditation at the start with his guest. PROMISE! Meditation is a very good way to quell anxiety and fear. And you know you have the time if you can break away from Facebook memes and posts for the 20 minutes it will take to listen to the whole thing.
Oprah & Deepak posted a 21-day meditation on hope for free!! That’s less than the cost of a black market roll of toilet paper!!! It’s not what you think it is. Try it. If it’s not for you, move on – no need to be snarky about it.
Sam Harris interviews people on his podcast “Making Sense”. There’s a free version, and if you like it and have the extra cash because you’re not out spending it since you’re self-isolating (you are, right??), you can have a paid subscription that provides more content. Titles include: Meditation in an Emergency; Early Thoughts on a Pandemic (conversation with Dr. Amesh Adalja, an infectious disease doctor with Johns Hopkins University Center for Health Security), among many. He even has a podcast on nuclear war, in case you don’t have enough to worry about right now. He also has an interview with Ricky Gervais (episode #163). Anyway, lots of interesting observations that can alleviate a little anxiety.
In conclusion (for now) have a little hope – it goes a long way.