Next Level Aging

The other day, my daughter, now in her early 50’s, asked me if I thought of myself as being old. This question was triggered by my recounting a story of telling a technical expert on a helpdesk that I was an “old woman”, and they shouldn’t expect me to know about the new technologies. I was angling for a technician to show up at the condo and “help me” with the problem. His response was that I was doing just fine with the technology, better than most of his customers half my age.

Over the last few years, I’ve been thinking about the aging process and how it’s shifted for me over the years. I do appreciate the memes telling me that aging is a privilege. I have the usual aches and pains, a little arthritis here and there, but nothing serious. I am, indeed, very fortunate.

Meantime, I’m observing the different reminders of the aging process, some external and some internal.

Here’s a list of items that make next level aging more real:

• Routine medical testing – At age 74, in Canada, women are removed from the breast cancer program which provided routine mammograms every two years. Now they have to be ordered by my doctor. I think Papp smears stopped at 70. Since they stopped, I’ve had at least 2 ultrasounds (I think) that showed (1) a polyp that had to be removed, and (2) cysts in my uterus that will just be left there.
• Bones – I’ve had bone density scans over the years, and the results were always good. Until they weren’t. A few years ago, the results came back that I had osteopenia. I was shocked! I didn’t feel like I had it. My doctor said to keep doing what I was doing, so it didn’t change my lifestyle, but it made me feel like I had reached the next level in the aging process. I don’t take medication for it, but every time I do a weight bearing exercise I hope that something good is happening.
• Driver license – when I went to renew (at age 78), the new license is only valid until I’m 80. At 80, I will need to take another test to get it renewed, basically start over, I think. I don’t disagree with this in principle, it was just a reminder that “age” is not “just a number”, it has real world consequences.
• Health Insurance – I have no health insurance other than Medicare in the US and OHIP in Canada. All that great health insurance in the US (and the insurance for items not covered by OHIP in Canada) goes away when you stop working or are not employed by a company willing to provide it. We checked into paying for it ourselves and realized that we were better off “self insuring” for normal medical expenses than buying insurance. if things get really bad, that extra insurance would make a big difference.  If we “win the lottery” I would get it for both the US and Canada.
• Dental – we no longer have the insurance for dental care that was provided by the business, so any dental needs must be paid for personally. Yet, keeping your teeth healthy is very important, so we’ve made a decision to pay out of pocket.
• Arthritis – I’ve had some for years in my hands, but it hasn’t really bothered me that much. My hand doctor in NYC gave me exercises to keep up strength and flexibility. Ten years ago, I developed a cyst in the first joint of my right hand little finger. My hand doctor said that people would want to drain a cyst like this, and that I should not allow that because of the risk of an infection which, in his words, would probably land me in the hospital. In 2020, another one formed in the first joint of the middle finger on my left hand. These cysts are very common with arthritis. I’m making arrangements to have it surgically removed. I’ve been told that there is a “good chance” that more could develop. Welcome to next level aging.
• Cataracts – I started developing cataracts years ago, and they finally “matured” when I was 77. I do know that this condition can occur in younger people, but it’s typically part of the “next level aging” process. At 77, I was less prepared to deal with setting up appointments for the surgery, getting myself there, making payments, and getting myself home.
• Bunions! – When I was 72 years old, I had bunions removed from both feet. My left foot also had a bone spur or something in the joint, making it painful to wear shoes. I almost didn’t do my right foot, but I decided to go ahead, and I’m glad I did. If you have bunions, I recommend having the surgery at a younger age, if possible. Keeping the feet happy sets up all kinds of possibilities.
• Physical ability to do routine things diminishes – I’ve noticed that I can’t do things I used to do, like move furniture. Seniors living alone don’t usually have the resources for help.
• General strength – I started noticing that my cast iron pans were hard to lift. I’ve replaced some of my cookware for lighter products that serve the same function.
• Friends and family members die – it’s odd to realize that you’re the sole remaining member of the family you grew up with. My closest friends from my youth are also dead. Two of them had cardiac arrests in their 50’s. My nephew Robert died of liver cancer at 60. It’s a reminder that life cannot be taken for granted at any age. In recent years, realizing that my own mortality has an end date, I am consciously working on appreciating each day rather than thinking about what might be accomplished in the future.
• Isolation – it’s very hard to stay connected and make new friends. I appreciate social media for this. I can communicate with family and friends around the world, which helps a great deal. However, without a daily organized reason to be with people (like work), it’s easy to find yourself isolated.
• Living on a Fixed Income – hope you saved enough money because things are about to get expensive when you’re least able to do anything about earning more. If I needed more money when I was younger, I just went out and got a different job. That’s no longer available.
• Dermatology – The skin changes a lot! It gets much thinner and, although I don’t have a lot of wrinkles on my face, the texture of my skin is quite different than a few years ago, especially on my arms. I’ve stopped doing some things, like removing spots on my hands and removal of seborrheic keratosis because it won’t improve my appearance significantly.
• Cosmetic medical procedures – I don’t do much of this. It’s a personal choice, but I just don’t get the results I’m looking for anymore. An example, I’ve had spots lasered off in the past with great success, and the last time, it just didn’t work.
• Harder to travel – we’re still able to make plans, but the physical part of traveling, such as dealing with luggage and airport security, is much harder. A few years ago, I noticed how hard it was for me to put luggage in the overhead. I started checking luggage after that.
• Dealing with technology – this can be hard at any age, but without resources it becomes very difficult. I’m considered quite competent with technology and am the one who handles all of it at home. I’ve been able to keep up with lots of things (like Zoom, FB Messenger, and even various aspects of internet service equipment) but some things I just haven’t tackled, and sometimes it’s beyond me. We don’t have Alexa in our home, and maybe we should, but I’m just not feeling confident we would use it enough for me to figure it out. I could see the advantages of being able to shout out something like “Alexa, call 911” (ok, maybe that doesn’t work, but maybe it does).
• Minimalism out of necessity – It’s a wakeup call to realize that nobody wants your stuff, the way you imagined they would (I’m talking about my adult children) when you were younger. They want it gone before they must deal with your estate. I’m also watching as people my age move into Assisted Living. That’s like living in a hotel room. A person doesn’t need all that much stuff.  I’m realizing that I need less and less. I’m giving away whatever I can or getting rid of stuff if I can’t give it away. I’m still hanging on to certain things because, well, maybe “just in case” but that’s hard to admit.
• Physical contact – there’s very little unless you make a real effort. That’s why I instituted the daily hug with my husband. I used to get massages regularly but haven’t resumed since the lockdowns are over.
• Realization that pets are probably going to outlive you – this is one of the major reasons I didn’t replace my cats.
• Eating habits – I insist we sit down together for an evening meal, and I make one every day. I make a real effort to eat properly, which involves shopping for food properly. Even with my efforts, I do catch myself doing the “peanut butter and crackers” thing sometimes.
• Sleeping habits – When I worked, I didn’t really think about sleep. I just slept. Now, with “next level aging” it’s been harder to regulate my awake-sleep time. I’ve set an alarm on my phone that goes off at 10 p.m. to remind me to move into the bedroom. I also have a morning alarm to let me know when it’s 7 a.m., at least during the week.
• Alcohol – I thought I would always be a wine drinker, but something happened in my body that made it no longer appealing. I’m grateful for that because I’ve read that alcohol consumption is linked to many forms of cancer, including breast, prostate, and other common cancers. It can increase the likelihood of falls, too. Apparently, if you believe the research coming out, it’s not that great for us.
• Falling – it’s a shocking realization that my balance isn’t what it used to be. I had a bad fall caused by walking backward off a step on the terrace while participating in a project going on in front of me. I was ok and didn’t break anything, but it reminded me that I need to stay very aware of what I’m doing.
• My Heart Health – recently, I had an EKG in preparation for minor surgery that didn’t involve a general anesthesia, and when the results came back the doctor said that they showed that I had had some kind of an “incident” that scarred my heart! The last time I had an EKG was 10 years ago, so somewhere in that intervening 10 years, something had happened. Does it count if I didn’t know it was happening?
• One last thing I got my hearing tested! – It turns out my husband and I are like that joke where the husband stands behind the wife asking her if she can hear him. She doesn’t respond, so he moves closer. Getting no response, he moves closer until he’s about a foot away from her back. This time, she responds: “like I said the other 3 times, yes, I can hear you!” I’m not saying his hearing is as bad as the joke, but there’s nothing wrong with my hearing. Still, probably a good idea to get it tested.

There’s a lot more, but these are the reminders I’m thinking about and working my way around to make sure I have a healthy old age.

For those of you caring for people in my age group, keep a lookout for these things in your aging relative or friend. Don’t be a nudge (please!) because it doesn’t work to point these things out. We probably know about them on some level. Offer to help if you’re close enough. And listen to their concerns.

The next topic is about stuff I did at a younger age that paid off. Stay tuned!