There is a debate raging among women that supersedes politics, climate change, animal welfare and vaccinations – and the divide cuts across all personal persuasions on any of those issues.
To color your hair or to let nature take its course!
There are arguments for and against, and everyone has an opinion, not just for her own hair. No, she has an opinion about YOUR hair, too. And since the arguments are raging in your own head, you can be forgiven for being on one side of the argument when you put down your credit card to pay your hair stylist (aka, the person with whom you are spending the most concentrated amount of time every month), and the opposite side when the credit card bill arrives just about the time that your “natural” roots start to show.
MY WHY: I decided to let my hair “go gray” when I was 50 years old because I thought I could pull it off. And at that age, I would look like a young person with prematurely gray hair. I would never have to go through that horrible moment when I was old (like I am now) when I went from color to whatever was going to happen. I had watched people do that, and they went from looking like an old person with hair of an unnatural color to just a really old person. Or worse, the dreaded “reverse hombre” look – white at the top and dark as the hair grew out. I figured if I caught it young enough I might be able to develop a look that would carry me through for a graceful transition and to some extent leave ‘em wondering just how old I “really” was.
So, maybe useful, maybe not, but I decided to share my hair history.
As a kid, I had “blondish” hair. It’s a black & white photo, but you get the idea.
When I was a teenager, I loved changing my hair color! I went from naturally dishwater blond to platinum blond. I discovered that platinum blonds get more attention whether they’re having more fun or not. And contact lenses didn’t hurt “the look” either.
Heading off to university, I knew I couldn’t maintain the blond, so I dyed it a dark brown. Yup! These pictures were taken within a three-year period, ages 15-18.
I got married at the age of 19 with naturally brown hair.
I went to law school from 21 to 24 years of age, which was my “long hair” phase. Hair lightened by the sun but no coloring.
I had two daughters (1972 and 1975) and went from long hair to short hair. (Yup – those are my curls. Nope – don’t remember using anything on my hair except Prell shampoo, like my mom. And take a look at those glasses!)
In my 40’s, I moved to California and grew the hair out a bit. I went through a phase where “people” didn’t color their hair, but they got perms, which had the effect of changing the color a little bit. But still no gray.
In 1986, I moved to Paris to live out a childhood fantasy. Cut my hair very short and got a boyfriend who liked long hair, so I grew it out again. This picture was taken in 1987, so I was 42 years old. My hair was still dark and curly, but I was starting to see some changes that would have to be addressed – and soon! I was having a conversation with my American friend Catherine about whether we should (in her case continue to) dye our hair. Her comment was: “You know, Deborah, we’re the only women in Paris even HAVING this conversation!!”
I moved back to the US and decided that it was time to start with the highlights. I went every 6 weeks or so, spent a small fortune and about a year, I’d estimate, in daylight hours in the stylist’s chair. Here’s the best picture of that era, folks.
At a certain point, I was going to the stylist every 3 weeks (!) to maintain “the look”. That was a lot of time and money. One day, I was reading the newspaper and saw a black and white photo of the fashion designer Carolina Herrara. It looked like she had white hair (but she actually colors it blond), and it looked like a style I could pull off. I carried that picture for at least a year before I showed it to my stylist.
At 50, my fate was sealed! My stylist said I could “pull it off”, and we started the process of minimal coloring, but leaving mostly my own. It took a while, and my natural non-gray hair turned out to be quite dark. At first I had basically a fringe of white near my face with mostly “pepper” in my salt and pepper hair.
I went for a quick trip to Paris in 1998, and got a very short cut. I loved it, and my “look” was born. Here’s how I looked in 2000
and 2004
Over the years, I’ve definitely proceeded from dark hair with gray to gray hair with dark.
My wedding in 2010
5 years later in 2015
This picture was taken in 2011, which is how my mind sees me without a mirror handy (it does a nice job of “airbrushing”).
And here is 2017, hair is mine – face is compliments of a professional makeup artist (and false lashes at the corners of my eyes). Whatever gets you through the night, am I right???
Here I am in 2021 – a lot more gray, but I feel like I accomplished my 50-year-old goal of developing a look that would grow old gracefully with me!
THE END (of the story, so far)
I love this article! This is so helpful to me as I try and figure out my next steps and letting my silver come through.